The F-word: From Aspirational to Actual

“Language shapes culture. The F-word can be as much ‘aspirational’ as it is descriptive of a present reality.” Jim Love commenting on the blog, “When NOT to Use the F-Word.”

Jim is right. Language shapes culture.

The F word is often aspirational.

However, aspiration without action leads nowhere.

Along with language, we need exemplary behaviors and hero-making stories flowing from a strong value base.

In the previous blog, I noted a shift in vocabulary between the gospels and Acts and the epistles. The former speak of disciples and the latter define disciples and disciplemaking in family terms. Paul describes himself as a spiritual father; his team displays “motherly love,” and the disciples are brothers and sisters.

The church as an institution is hardly motherly.

Cultural Similarities

The Japanese term kyokai is a helpful tool here. It combines the kanji for learning (kyo) or teaching with that of a group or a society (kai).

Question: Is your church a learning society or a functioning (not aspirational) family?

Healthy families are all about love in action. To love each other, we must know each other—well.

Does your church structure allow people to know each other well enough to serve one another?

A measuring stick for love is action that accompanies it, “Dear children, don’t just talk about love, put your love into action, then it will truly be love” 1 John 3:18 NIRV.

Another passage challenges us, “Show me your faith. That doesn’t cause you to do good deeds, and I will show you my faith by the good deeds I do” James 2:18 NIRV.

Family Practices Or a Practice Family?

The church family is the practice field for making disciples who can make disciples in the surrounding world.

So, let’s get to the five steps. These are values, vocabulary, actions, narratives and behaviors.

And I think it all begins with the leader, as a primary leader, particularly as a lead pastor in a church.

1. As a primary leader or lead pastor, you must carefully align your teaching to the Great Commission. I struggle to speak of “my mission.” In reality, it is the “Jesus mission” that counts. You’re teaching your people how to think about what a disciple is, how a disciple function in the church and a world that is somewhat hostile to our gospel.
2. You must believe that vocabulary has the power to modify circumstances. I’ve pressed worship teams to change words to songs to adapt them to Jesus’ mission. What most would call a small group, a Bible study, or a growth group for me is a “MiniChurch.” I want the word church in the mix because loving one another is a function that remains elusive in a larger setting. And it is the essence of the church. When we use the term MiniChurch, we want people to realize that gathering to eat, share, love, cry, laugh, pray, and serve one another is the church at its best.
3. This begins with action from the primary leader. If you, as a lead pastor, want to kickstart a function in your church, you must do something others can emulate. This is crucial. Before you get to narratives, you must have something to narrate. You begin with your own stories. You lead a minichurch and talk about it in your public teachings. You both model and describe the behaviors you expect from others.
4. You will have more stories to tell as you multiply your life in that of your disciples. This is hero-making full throttle. By describing the stories of early adopters, you bring others on board. People will do what brings positive attention to others.
5. General behavioral changes tend to grow in correlation to the narratives you bring to the church. It’s here that you strike gold. It’s also at the point of behavioral change that you may meet some resistance from non-participants, which means you must continue with the first four steps in this saga.

Back to the F-word

As I mentioned in the earlier blog, while acknowledging many teachers surrounding church members, Paul identified himself as a father to the family in Corinth. In a universe of digital Bible teachers, the more family-like our churches, the less likely that we fade to just another of many voices our people hear in a week.